Facebook told me today that it has been 109 days since I posted last. I finished third year with a 14 week block that included Orthopaedic Surgery, Urology, Anesthesia, General Surgery and Emergency Medicine. I have been waiting for each rotation to end before writing about it and that made this entry a long wait. This was my most difficult block of the year and I have been thinking hard about what to say and what to save. I will post a small update on each of these disciplines in the coming weeks. Before I break for the summer in mid July there are 8 weeks of 4th year electives to enjoy. I have completed 3 of them in Emergency medicine. I have one more week of Emergency then 2 weeks of Palliative Care and 2 weeks of Youth Forensic Psychiatry. I have learned a lot this year. Some of it has been medicine. Until next time…
Some things change you forever.
Sometimes I ask myself ‘why now’?
Sometimes I think about all the things I have hidden from.
Sometimes I think about all the things I have pursued.
Sometimes I drink so I don’t have to think.
Sometimes I watch people.
Sometimes I make judgments even though I say I don’t.
Sometimes I love people for no reason.
Sometimes I think about the places I have been.
Sometimes I think about the people who walked near me.
Sometimes I forget to think about the people who walk near me now.
Sometimes I lose myself, and then I find myself, and then I lose myself again. I used to think this would end but I don’t anymore.
Someday I will write a chapter about each of these things and it will make a book. I won’t judge you for not liking it but I will judge you for thinking it is not a smart book.
Sometimes I cry when I feel like I am not a good student. That is a silly reason to cry when people are suffering. I cried when someone died and a lot of people loved them. Then another person died who didn’t have anyone to love them. No one cried, but later when I was driving home I cried in my car and loved them for no reason.